“On March 4th, 1861, Abraham Lincoln – exceptional boy of Sinking Springs Farm, apple of his departed mother’s eye, survivor of the trials of Job, and one of the nation’s most accomplished vampire hunters – was sworn in as the sixteenth president of the United States.”
– Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith
“I meant,” said Ipslore bitterly, “what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?”
Death thought about it.
“Cats,” he said eventually. “Cats are nice.”
Terry Pratchett
Note from the Dingo: Please remember that Death is not of this plane of existence, and cats are not all they are cracked up to be.
Riley: <jumping, running in circles, jumping>
Me: Ice?
Riley: <freezes>
Me: Smartass – do you WANT a piece of ice?
Riley: <snicker, runs to kitchen>
Riley: Where have you been, Mister?
Me: I’m sorry – I had to work late but I love love love you!
Riley: I’m mad.
Me: Do you want some ice?
Riley: …
Me: I’ll give you the whole ice tray…
Riley: <jumps into my arms>
Me: Son of a … ! I dropped an ice-cube!
Riley: Son of a … ! He dropped an ice-cube!
I’m going to go out on a limb here. The Giants are not going to win the Super Bowl. The Patriots won’t either.Neither, on their greatest day, can out-perform Matthew Broderick.
The halftime show, while it may be as entertaining as Janet Jackson, or as entertaining as the Black Eyed Peas, won’t be the victor. And as much as I am so very looking forward to the new Avengers movie, the trailer for that masterpiece will fall a bit short as well.
You see, there can only be one winner, and this year that winner will be…
Broderick… Broderick… Broderick.
My sister’s boyfriend’s daughter’s bromide’s (don’t ask – I don’t understand this word either) boyfriend’s dog doesn’t have to tell me that a car commercial which parodies the great Ferris Bueller’s Day Off will be the best offering at the game today.
If you doubt my prognostication skills, shame one you. For your viewing pleasure, I bring you what will surely be the best commercial debuting during the Super Bowl this year: Matthew’s Day Off.
You’re welcome.
…
…
…
(You’re still here? Why are you still here? Go on – read another article.)
Riley: A-zig and a-zag! A-zig and a-zag!
Me: Whatcha doing?
Riley: Running routes.
Me: Why?
Riley: Getting ready for the Big Game! Tom Brady NEEDS me!
<door slam>
Riley: I heard something.
<creaking sound>
Riley: YOU…. SHALL NOT…. PASS!!!!
Me: Good girl
the dingo was here 