Every year, I look forward to attending a bout or two of the Dallas Derby Devils roller derby league. This year, for the first time, I have purchased a season ticket. Tonight was the first bout night of the season, and I can tell you already that the season ticket was the right decision!
First, I want to thank all of the women who make Dallas Derby Devils what it is. You all are amazing skaters and gifted athletes – I wish I had just a smidgen of your skill!
Second, I want to take a moment to call out the captains and co-captains of each team. I know one of you, and I know she is a shining example of each of you; your teams love you all and your leadership of your teams is second to none!
Third (I better be careful, I’ll have to take my shoes off if I start counting too high and no one wants that…), I like to always say a few words about the skaters who drew my attention most.
- To Prideful Phoenix of the High Sea Hotties: when you hit the opposing jammers, they realize they aren’t in Kansas anymore! My lord, remind me never to get on your bad side!
- To Red White and Broozen of the High Sea Hotties: you have have to be the hardest hitting jammer out there! The defense’s wall looks like paper when you hit it!
- To Bourbon Barbie of the Death Row Rumblers: every year you rock, and damn you’re fast in the open! Every time you break out of the pack it’s fun to watch you fly!
- To Kay Carnage of the Death Row Rumblers: you are a dancer in skates that no one can compare to! The spins! The ability to find a hole in the defense! Wow!
- To Jaims Maims of the Slaughterers: Great defense! You were a brick wall on wheels tonight! Great job rotating to the right spot each time the jammer tried to get through!
- To Baby Hurl of the Slaughterers: Such focus and determination! Love how you give it your all on every play, every jam!
And I can’t forget those on my team!
- To MsMURDR of the Wrecking Crew: magnificent combination of speed, power, and awareness! You were always in the right place at the right time, on offense or defense!
- To Anita Riot of the Wrecking Crew: your “shake and bake” is simply breathtaking! You dance around the defense and leave them asking how they can ever hope to stop you!
I look forward to watching you all throughout the summer!
If you are not familiar with the Dallas Derby Devils (or DDD), they are an amateur league of flat track roller derby skaters – in short they are bunch of competitive and fun loving women who mix Nascar and hockey in a thoroughly enjoyable fashion!
I have been asked by a member of the High Sea Hotties named Freaky-Styley to write about the derby from a fan’s perspective. Needless to say, it would be dangerous to refuse a woman who knocks people flat for fun, so here we are. You may have noticed Freaky’s unusual name – it’s all part of the fun of the derby, as each skater chooses their own “derby name” (Cupcake Crusher politely pointed out to me that these are in fact derby names, and not stage names. Good looking out Cuppy!)
The High Sea Hotties are one of five teams. The Hotties are joined by the Death Row Rumbers, the Suicide Shifters, the Wrecking Crew, and the Slaughterers, creating a group of women to be feared as much as they are loved for what they do! I first became aware of DDD through a long time friend who had recently started to skate a few years ago, named ZoeKat Karma (also of the Hotties). I’ve come to know several of the skaters other than Kat and Cuppy, including referee DoS Attack, and skater Rhinestone Callgirl.
In my time in watching the derby, I’ve come to greatly respect these lady devils. They are brave, determined, and committed to both excellence and each other. As a fan, I can tell you that their attitudes are a huge draw, and I think we should all support people such as these!
Each time I go to the derby, I like to look for skaters that stand out, and demand our attention the entire matches. Since I am just getting back into writing (and thanks for those that are reading this, by the way), I want to give out some kudos from the first and second bouts of the season. So, here goes!
***First Bouts from April 5, 2014***
To Onrhea of the Hotties – you showed real grit and determination! You took a few hard hits, but you pushed through and made your team proud!
To Postal Penny of the Rumblers – you were grace personified tonight. It was amazing watching you “thread the needle” and dance past the blockers with such ease!
To Guillotine Grace of the Slaughterers – elegance and power.You led your team well, and proved that the Slaughters are a force to be reckoned with!
And to Anita Riot and Rhinestone Callgirl of the Crew- you were both amazing! When you were on the track, we all knew something special was about to happen, and you never let us down! It was a pure thrill to watch you both and root and cheer you both on!
Lastly, to the entire Wrecking Crew and Slaughter teams – hands down, that was the best game I’ve seen at derby since I started coming out!
***Second Bouts from April 5, 2014***
First, Punchy Brewster of the Rumblers – I can’t imagine what you and your family are going though, but please know that your fans are with you in spirit in this tough time, and you and your family are in my prayers.
To Whisky Hangover of the Rumblers – you hung tough tonight! You’ve always been one of the best skaters on the track, and tonight you proved why! Great determination, and better execution! I really enjoyed watching you and your entire team!
To Ripper of the Crew – the Wrecking Crew has a winner in you! You are tough as nails – it was a blast watching you power your way past blockers, and to watch you take down the opposing jammers!
To Planet of the Skates of the Shifters – again, you were fantastic! You are so quick off the line that the Hotties couldn’t keep up, and if they managed to get in front of you, well they were soon out of your way! Great job tonight!
To Hannah Barabaric of the Hotties – What an impressive game! It didn’t matter if you were jammer, pivot, or blocker, you gave everything you had tonight – I loved watching you chase down the opposing jammer! Great job!
To DoS Attack of Team Zebra – great officiating tonight! The best officiating is the kind that the fans don’t notice – because you are getting the calls right!
And finally to ZoeKat Karma of the Hotties – it was a lot of fun sitting next to you tonight – I’ve known you a long time, and the Hotties could not hope for a better cheerleader! (My ears are still ringing – next time I’ll sit a couple feet further away). Get better soon, and get back on that track!
And to keep you up to date on the results so far:
Death Row Rumblers defeat the High Sea Hotties, 375-67
Wrecking Crew defeat Slaughterers, 197-195 (literally coming down to the final seconds and a review of the final jam to see who won!)
Wrecking Crew defeat the Death Row Rumblers, 204-173
High Sea Hotties defeat Suicide Shifters, 175-110
The next set of bouts are Saturday, June 28, 2014.